The Curse Effect

"So the evidence you were talking about is here?" Shiraishi Aya asked in confusion as she followed Sakakibara Masaya through the quiet campus of East Capital University. Kitagawa Go had already been sent off by Masaya to the archives to look up old student files. There were not many students passing by, but the long paths, the thick green trees, and the old-style pavilion gave the place the hushed air of a proper university. Every now and then a student carrying books passed them, and the whole place felt peaceful. Masaya did not answer Aya's question. He simply strolled down the clean path, clearly enjoying this stolen half-day of leisure.

They walked all the way to the basketball court.

"You need to be able to take in the whole court from above, don't you?" Aya asked. Masaya only said lazily, "If you keep yourself wound tight all the time, it doesn't help the case." Aya was about to say more when Masaya put a finger to his lips for silence. So the two of them wandered slowly to the stands and took seats. From there they could see the whole court at a glance. It was not as close as standing at the edge, but it was close enough. After they sat down, Masaya leaned over and greeted the girl beside them. "Kobayashi Kana."

The girl's entire attention had been on the court. Only when she heard her name did she turn. She looked surprised to see Masaya, but almost immediately composed herself, nodded to him and Aya, and turned back to the game. So this was Kobayashi Kana. Aya immediately matched the face to the name in her notebook and took a careful look at her. She was an ordinary girl, not especially striking, but with features that came together pleasantly enough. And she was at that age when even an ordinary face is lit from within. Right now she was staring fixedly at the court, eyes shining, cheeks flushed, her feelings rising and falling with the game. It was an open, lovely expression, innocent enough to make people look twice.

Following Kana's line of sight, Aya looked toward the court. "Oh. Kanzaki Rin, Mochizuki Rei, and Fujiwara Rui are all playing." They were indeed all there, on the same team, moving with easy coordination and leaving the opposing side far behind. Their supporters were cheering themselves hoarse, and of the three, the handsome and skillful Kanzaki Rin was clearly the center of attention. Every jump, every turn, every clean movement sent the girls in the stands into shrieking delight. Aya glanced back at Kobayashi Kana. Her eyes were clearly fixed on Kanzaki Rin too. Whenever he scored, she lit up. Aya edged closer and started talking about the game. At first it was mostly Aya talking to fill the silence, but when the subject turned to Kanzaki Rin, Kana finally began answering in little bursts. Before long the two of them were chatting in earnest.

"He's good," Aya said, watching Kanzaki glide across the court. "But Fujiwara Rui and Mochizuki Rei are good too. Especially Fujiwara Rui. Usually he looks half asleep, but on the court he really wakes up."

Just then Fujiwara Rui caught a pass out beyond the three-point line, leaped, and sent the ball into the air. It traced a clean arc and dropped through the net. The court exploded. Even Kobayashi Kana jumped up and shouted.

"Of course they're good," she said, cheeks burning. "They're the Three Swords of the basketball club. None of them is bad."

Aya watched her with amusement. "Still, the best one is Kanzaki Rin, isn't he?"

Kana's face reddened at once, round and bright as an apple. Masaya, who had met her several times already and had seen nothing from her but blank politeness or cold sarcasm, could not help noticing how much more easily she responded to Aya than to him. Aya, meanwhile, had already worked their conversation into more personal territory.

"Why don't you go down to the edge of the court and cheer for him?" Aya asked. "It's lively down there."

Kana lowered her eyes and shook her head. "There are already so many people cheering for him. What difference would one more make?"

"Maybe he'd notice you."

"I don't want to."

"Why not?" Aya hesitated, then tried again. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No."

"Then why do you look so unhappy? Is it because of Fujiwara Fumino?"

At that, Kana fell silent for a while. At last she nodded. "Even if Fujiwara Fumino and I didn't get along, a person still died. How can I be in a good mood after something like that?" Masaya, hearing the case come up, sharpened his attention at once. Kana went on more slowly. "And I think... I think..." She lowered her head, unsettled, and could not finish.

"Think what?" Aya asked.

Kana looked uneasily from Aya to Masaya. Seeing her hesitate, Aya slipped an arm lightly around her shoulders and said as gently as she could, "Some things are frightening to say aloud because you're afraid they'll turn back on you. You're right that words shouldn't be thrown around carelessly. But it depends who you're speaking to. Masaya and I aren't people who spread gossip. If what you say matters to the case, Masaya will deal with it properly. If it doesn't, we're still older than you, and maybe we can at least listen. Keeping something shut up inside you can be worse. Sometimes saying it aloud is the only way to breathe again."

Kana sat with that for a long moment and then said in a small voice, "I've wanted to tell someone. It's strange, that's all. I've been thinking about it for two days straight. I can't sleep. I keep having nightmares. I think..." She swallowed. "I think I'm cursed."

Both Aya and Masaya twitched.

"Really," Kana said, seeing their doubtful faces. "A few months ago, in a moment of anger, I said Shirakawa Akira deserved to die. A few days later she killed herself. Then two days ago I said Fujiwara Fumino would get what was coming to her, and then she..." She could not finish.

"Shirakawa Akira?" Aya asked. "Who was that?"

"A girl in my department. I didn't mean it literally. It was just something I said in anger. But then she really did kill herself."

Masaya spoke up for the first time. "That's strange. You and Fujiwara Fumino were on bad terms because of Kanzaki Rin. What was the problem with Shirakawa Akira?"

Kana hesitated before answering. "Also because of Kanzaki Rin."

Both Aya and Masaya stared at her.

"You know what Kanzaki Rin is like at this school," Kana said. "Half the girls here are in love with him. Back then I was one of the loud ones too. If there was a basketball game like today, I would absolutely have been one of the girls screaming the loudest at courtside. Shirakawa Akira was the same. Eventually we started clashing. Neither of us could stand the other."

"Did Kanzaki Rin know?" Masaya asked.

"Probably not. There are too many people around him. Something like that would never matter to him. The only things he cares about are studying and student council work. He's never put any energy into girls like us. Even if he knew, he'd probably just laugh it off."

Masaya nodded. "What happened next?"

"At one basketball game we started arguing right there in the crowd. Shirakawa Akira had a vicious mouth. She could spit insults forever. I couldn't keep up. I got so angry I threw the water from my bottle in her face. Then she came over and slapped me. I tried to hit her back, but she was taller and stronger. When we grappled, I lost."

"So you told her to go die," Aya said quietly.

Kana nodded. "It was only something I said in anger. I didn't really want her dead. But then..."

"How did it end that day?" Masaya asked.

"Kanzaki Rin came with Mochizuki Rei and Fujiwara Rui and pulled us apart. The game even had to stop for a while because of us. It's humiliating to think about now. Two girls fighting in public over something like that." She gave a miserable laugh and then added, "A few days later Shirakawa Akira hanged herself in her dorm room. I already felt bad about that. Then Fujiwara Fumino died too. So tell me, am I really cursed? When I say something bad, it comes true. Anything good I say never does."

Her eyes had gone red. Aya smiled and said gently, "There's nothing supernatural here. It's only an unlucky coincidence. Their deaths had nothing to do with you. Even from this short conversation, I can tell you're kind. Just don't speak in anger like that anymore." Kana nodded hard, eyes wet.

Aya turned, meaning to throw Masaya a look and ask him silently to offer the poor girl a little comfort too, but found him leaning against the stone steps, staring into space and muttering to himself.

At that moment Kanzaki Rin came off the court. He headed straight toward them, greeted them, and sat down beside Aya.

"Aya, did you come to see me?" he asked with a grin.

"Something like that," Aya said. "Since our great detective seems to have run out of ideas, I figured I'd come help with the grunt work. Why did you stop playing?"

Rin glanced at Masaya and laughed. "Once you showed up, how could I leave you waiting? Besides, the outcome's already decided. Mochizuki and Fujiwara Rui can hold things down. I was sent over as the official representative. We've got a lot to ask you about those materials."

"Where are they?"

"In my dorm."

Aya stood up and dusted off her clothes. "Then let's go. No time to waste."

She looked at Masaya. He seemed to come back to himself only then. Before he could decide whether to follow, a flock of girls had already surrounded Kanzaki Rin, asking when his next game would be, chattering like a swarm of magpies. Rin smiled and answered them patiently, not looking annoyed in the least. Just then one of the girls cried out because someone had stepped on her. The one who had done the stepping did not even seem aware of it. The first girl shoved her. Embarrassed that she had made a scene in front of her idol, the second shoved back. They could barely move in the crowd, but their mouths were free and soon one of them was hurling abuse bad enough to curse every female ancestor the other one had. Aya tried to push forward and separate them, but by then a ring of spectators had closed around the fight. She could not get in. Then, beside her, Kanzaki Rin suddenly forced his way through with both arms, dragged the girls apart, clapped a hand over the mouth of the one who had been cursing the loudest, and shouted in a nearly broken voice, "Shut up!"

It was so sharp it sounded almost cracked, but the scene did settle at once.

Rin was plainly sickened by the whole thing. He answered none of the girls after that. He came back, took Aya by the arm, and left directly.

The game ran ten minutes longer, ending exactly as Rin had predicted. After the crowd of admirers finally peeled away, Mochizuki Rei, Nakahara Katsuki, and Fujiwara Rui came over, greeted Masaya, and sat down in the stands to drink water and rest. Nakahara, seeing Aya had already gone off with Rin, urged Mochizuki to hurry after them. Mochizuki only shrugged and said that with Kanzaki Rin there, everything would be fine. The boys started joking about what had happened on and off the court. Masaya sat beside them, listening silently. Eventually the conversation turned to Fujiwara Rui. A few classmates teased him about being lovesick, saying they had seen him sitting alone in the campus pavilion all night more than once. Apparently it was no secret. Fujiwara Rui, though teased, did not grow angry. He only lowered his head and smiled faintly.

Masaya stood and said to Kobayashi Kana, "I want to see Shirakawa Akira's dorm room. Can you take me?"

She looked startled but nodded.

By the time Aya followed Kanzaki Rin into the boys' dormitory, everyone else was out and the room was empty. She looked around and said with some surprise, "This place is actually clean today. Last time I was here, there were socks on the table."

Rin had already forgotten the unpleasantness from the court and laughed in embarrassment. "I knew you were coming this time."

"Then I should feel honored," Aya said.

They pulled out the files and went through them one by one. When there was something unclear, Rin marked it, and Aya explained it carefully. Nearly an hour passed that way.

At last Aya stretched. "The rest of this needs a computer. You do have one, right?"

Rin scratched his head. "I have a handmade desktop a graduate left behind. I just never got around to setting it up."

Aya rolled her eyes. "Then where do you go online?"

"Manga cafes."

"And now?"

Rin spun his wristband in a habitual little motion. "I'll try assembling it."

He opened a cabinet by the door, dug through a mountain of things, and finally all but disappeared into it before dragging out a dust-covered computer tower. Dust fell all over his hair and face. He popped his head back out and smiled sheepishly at Aya. Aya shook her head and went over to help.

At the girls' dormitory, Masaya stood inside Shirakawa Akira's room.

There was a dead stillness there, the sort that remains after a life vanishes and leaves only the smell of death behind.

Masaya knew that smell well. He did not need to seek it out. It reached him through every channel there was: eyes, ears, even skin. A young girl had died here not long before, a girl who had been pretty and capable and full of life. Maybe proud. Maybe sharp-tongued. But what of it? Before weather and time have worn them down, girls like that are like roses with thorns. People admire their beauty. Who bothers complaining about the thorns?

He reached out and touched one of the upper bunks lightly. "This was Shirakawa Akira's bed, wasn't it?"

Kobayashi Kana blurted, "You're incredible. You guessed it immediately."

Masaya smiled faintly, stepped closer, and gauged the height of the lower bed against his own body. Then his hand moved over the bedpost, where a beige scarf had been tied. It was the most fashionable style of the winter. The scarf looked oddly familiar. "How did her family settle this?" he asked.

Kana answered quietly, "Shirakawa Akira's home was in the countryside far away. Her mother died early. It was only her father and grandmother left, and life was hard. They had finally managed to send a child to university, and then this happened. Of course they refused to accept it. But she had hanged herself from her own bed, and everything seemed to point to suicide. All they could do was cry. They couldn't say anything definite. Teachers and classmates raised some money. They cremated her. The school paid some compensation and sent the family back home." Kana's eyes reddened again. "The most pitiful one was her grandmother. She could barely stand while holding the box with her granddaughter's ashes."

Masaya nodded. "Yes. One person's death doesn't only end their own life. It leaves wounds in everyone who cared about them. That's why no matter what, people cannot choose suicide. But..." His eyes went back to the scarf. "...was she really a suicide?"

Things began to click in his mind all at once.

On the court, Kanzaki had clapped his hands over a girl's mouth.

Shirakawa Akira and Fujiwara Fumino. Two girls in the first flush of youth. Both sharp-tongued. Both dead. Both with a scarf tied to the head of the bed.

Masaya stood there motionless for a long time, as if his soul had stepped aside from his body. At last he said under his breath, "Maybe there really was someone who hated their thorns."

Kana did not catch it. "What did you say?"

Instead he turned abruptly and asked, "At the court just now, they said Fujiwara Rui spends whole nights sitting in the pavilion, right?"

Kana blinked and nodded.

Masaya seized her shoulders. "Where is Fujiwara Rui? I need to see him. Is he still at the court?" Before he even finished speaking, he was already out the door at a run. There was no chance Kana was going to remain alone in that room, so she locked up and ran after him.

Back in Kanzaki Rin's room, the computer finally flickered to life. Rin was sweating heavily from the effort. Aya looked at him and said, "I'll handle the rest. Go wash up a bit."

"I'll go get water," he said. "You wash your hands first. I'll rinse my head in the washroom. I still haven't cleaned up after the game."

Aya did not object. Once Rin brought back the water, she washed her hands, sat back down, and went online to find the websites she needed. By the time she had nearly gathered everything, Rin came back.

A man in his early twenties already carried the force of youth everywhere he went, and a boy like Kanzaki Rin all the more. Washed clean, he looked even more handsome. Even Aya found herself looking at him once or twice. Rin was toweling the water from his hair. His collar had gotten damp, and though it bothered him, he seemed too shy to change with Aya in the room. So he took off the wristband he always wore, laid it in the sun on the windowsill to dry, and lifted his arm.

Aya froze.

Her eyes locked on his wrist.

The place normally hidden under the wristband was exposed in the sunlight, and there, unmistakably, were two irregular scratches. The thin dark red scabs were raw and ugly, new enough to make her breath catch.

"Did you... cut yourself?" Aya asked, though both of them knew she was lying.

"No."

Rin raised his left hand and looked at the scratches. Then he lightly touched them with his lips. A strange smile opened at the corner of his mouth, unfamiliar and eerie. In that instant he changed completely.

Like a poppy, Aya thought.

On the court, Fujiwara Rui stared at the breathless Masaya in confusion and alarm. Masaya had run hard to get there and for a moment could only drag air into his lungs. Then, after a few seconds, he recovered just enough to clutch Rui by the shoulder and say one sentence. That alone made all color drain from Rui's face. The basketball fell from his hands and rolled away.

"Fujiwara Rui," Masaya said, "tell me the truth."

Rui did not answer, but his expression was answer enough. Masaya knew then that he had been right. Oddly, once he had the answer, calm returned. He draped an arm over Rui's shoulders and led him off the court toward the quieter paths, giving him room to gather himself.

Rui walked beside him in a daze for quite a while before lifting his head. He opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again.

Masaya patted his shoulder. "You're afraid that telling the truth will betray your friend, aren't you? Think for a second. If your friend has done something wrong, what is the best thing for him? To face punishment, understand his mistake, and never do it again. If you hide it for him, he escapes the punishment but also loses his chance to understand what he did. Next time he may do something even worse, something beyond repair. Ask yourself honestly: are you protecting him, or ruining him?"

Rui shuddered. He went pale and at last, haltingly, he spoke. "On the night Fujiwara Fumino died, I was out by myself. I wasn't with Kanzaki Rin."

Masaya held his eyes for a while before asking, "Then why lie?"

"Because it was the weekend. Nobody was in the dorm. Kanzaki Rin said he had slept there, and I was wandering around campus. Neither of us had anyone who could confirm it. So we thought we would just cover for each other and save trouble." He swallowed, then added more quietly, "Little by little, I had already guessed who the killer was. I had guessed the reason too. Because when Fujiwara Fumino was shouting at me that day, I saw Kanzaki Rin standing upstairs in the teaching building, watching from far away. But he helped me so much before. He was my best friend. I didn't want to betray him. He was so outstanding, so full of plans, so full of ideals. If the truth came out, everything would be over for him. I've been torn up these past two days. I didn't want to betray him, but I felt sorry for Fujiwara Fumino too. I couldn't sleep. Every time I did, I had nightmares. But Fujiwara Fumino is dead. Kanzaki Rin is still alive."

Masaya said, "Remember this. You're saving him. And you're saving other people too."

In the dorm room, Aya's eyes had already filled with tears. She had not known Kanzaki Rin long, but she had genuinely liked him. There had been something younger-brotherish about him that made her instinctively want to protect him.

But the person before her now did not feel her sadness at all. The understanding, gentle Kanzaki Rin she had known seemed gone. In his place stood another face entirely, twisted and frantic. He was in a state of agitation so fierce it made Aya's skin crawl. He stared at her with huge eyes and shouted, "Because they were too noisy!"

"What?" Aya blurted.

Kanzaki Rin knew perfectly well what he was saying. He grabbed at his own hair. "Because they wouldn't stop cursing. I already begged him. I begged him. But he wouldn't stop. I couldn't take it anymore. My head was full of his voice. He called me trash. Called me a fly. Said when I grew up I'd be good for nothing but eating filth. He spat in my face. I was going mad. I couldn't live like that anymore."

Aya listened in shock before realizing he was not talking about Fujiwara Fumino at all.

He was talking about his father.

Kanzaki Rin looked so pained then that Aya reached toward him without thinking. At that same moment the door slammed open and Masaya burst in, shouting, "Aya, come here!"

But he was too late. The instant Aya turned, Kanzaki seized her wrist in a crushing grip. Masaya's hand flashed and his gun was suddenly out, aimed straight at Rin. "Kanzaki Rin, calm down. Don't make this worse."

Rin behaved as if Masaya were not there. Gradually his breathing slowed. He lifted his head, eyes wet, and for a heartbeat looked once more like the gentle boy Aya had known.

"Aya," he said timidly, "I'm not what he said I am. I'm not useless. I can do something with myself. I've been trying so hard. I can be successful. Believe me."

Aya's tears finally spilled. "I believe you, Kanzaki Rin. You've always been outstanding."

"No. No. I've always been terrible. I've always shamed him. Otherwise why would he treat me that way? I'm his son." He tightened his grip on her wrist. "You have to help me. Only you can help me. I want to go abroad. I want to leave this place. If I can leave, I won't have to see him again. I can start over. Please. Help me. You know, don't you? You know what I did. I didn't mean to. I just had such terrible headaches. It hurt so much. I didn't want to do it. Don't hate me. Don't abandon me."

He clung to Aya's wrist like a drowning man clutching his last piece of wood.

Aya made a subtle gesture to Masaya not to act rashly. Then, with her free hand, she put her palm on Rin's shoulder. "Kanzaki Rin, don't panic. We will help you. No matter what, we won't leave you alone."

Seeing that Rin was not yet posing an immediate threat to Aya, Masaya did not fire or move closer. He only kept the gun trained steadily on him. Tears suddenly spilled from Rin's eyes. Despair reddened them. He shook his head as he cried.

"Too late," he said. "Too late."

Aya had no words. She looked at Masaya. Masaya waited until Rin had quieted a little, then began in a slow voice:

"The night Fujiwara Fumino died, she was screaming at Fujiwara Rui on campus, and you saw it from the second floor of the teaching building. That was the moment you decided to kill her. Later that evening, you arranged to meet her in the dorm room at half past ten. She liked you, so she came happily. When she entered, you caught her off guard, pushed her down, and smothered her with a cushion. Then you carried her up to the upper bunk and tried to use the scarf tied to the bedpost to fake a hanging. But in the struggle she scratched your wrist, and you realized some of your skin might be under her nails. That forced you to stop and clean up. By the time you were ready to continue, Kobayashi Kana had already returned. So you improvised. You pulled the blanket over the body and lay down beside it on the upper bunk. At Kana's height, she couldn't tell who was lying there."

Rin listened without denying any of it. "Yes. If Kana hadn't shown up, I would have left already. After she came back, there were always people in and out of the room. I never got another chance to stage Fumino's body properly. So after everyone had finally gone to sleep, I slipped out and returned to my own dorm. Nobody was there. Not even Fujiwara Rui. I knew then he'd gone walking around campus again because he couldn't sleep. I knew the next day would bring a storm. So I lay on my bed and thought about it. What to do. What to do..."

Aya said softly, "How could you be this foolish? Everything you worked for is gone now."

Masaya said, "It was already gone. At the very latest, it was gone months ago, when you killed Shirakawa Akira."

Both Aya and Rin stared at him. Rin repeated the name under his breath as if it had been buried too deep.

Masaya said, "The same method. The same kind of victim. That time you succeeded. Everyone believed it was suicide. You fooled them all. But tell me, Kanzaki Rin, did it become a kind of addiction? In the moment those sharp-tongued girls stopped breathing beneath your hands, did you feel some terrible release? You couldn't stop, could you?"

Rin began to shake violently. His face went paper white. His eyes were enormous and empty. His mouth twitched with a sick, nervous rhythm. He looked like a child no longer in command of his own body.

Aya laid a hand on his shoulder again. "Kanzaki Rin, listen to me. Turn yourself in. If you walk out now, Masaya will count it as surrender. We'll help you. We'll argue for leniency. Listen to me, all right?"

Rin's gaze drifted wildly before finally focusing on her face. "Aya... tell me something. If a murderer has killed two people, even if he surrenders... what will the court do?"

Aya froze and could not answer.

Rin turned to Masaya. "You tell me. Can I escape the death penalty?"

Masaya met his eyes and shook his head.

Rin swung back to Aya in sudden agitation. "See? I'll die. Everything I worked for was wasted. Everything I gave up to leave this place. Do you know how much I sacrificed? When other children were outside playing, I studied. When they were watching television, I studied. When they were dating, I was still studying. I kept trying, kept trying, step by step, until I was almost there. So why? Why, right at the moment before success, with only the last step left, did I have to stop forever?"

Masaya said, "All you can think about is what you've lost. Have you thought at all about your victims? Two girls in the first bloom of youth. Whatever their tempers, they had done nothing unforgivable. They liked you. Think about the hope with which they came to meet you. Think about what you gave them instead. Their pain, their fear, their despair. Think about their families. They will carry the pain you gave them for the rest of their lives. You did that."

Aya said, "Kanzaki Rin, be a man and accept what you deserve. I'll get you the best lawyer I can. We'll do everything we can."

"No!" Rin gripped her hand harder. "I will never hand my fate over to someone else again. Never."

As he said it, he snatched up the uncapped fountain pen lying on the table.

At the exact same instant, Masaya fired.

The bullet only tore through Kanzaki Rin's arm, and there was no danger to his life. After the ambulance left, Masaya noticed the bruises around Aya's wrist and forced a doctor to look at them too. They looked ugly, but there was no real damage.

A month later, Aya and Masaya were on their way back from court. Both had testified. Aya sat in the passenger seat looking drained.

"What's wrong?" Masaya asked. "One setback and you're flattened?"

"No," Aya said. "I've just been thinking about how much a family can shape a person."

Masaya said, "Kanzaki Rin's end had a great deal to do with his family. But the final cause was still himself. Every family has its own problems. Plenty of good, healthy people come out of terrible homes. Family and background are objective conditions. You can work through them, change them, even leave them behind. You cannot use them as an excuse to hurt other people, especially not to take their lives."

Aya was quiet a moment before asking, "How did you connect Shirakawa Akira's death with Fujiwara Fumino's case?"

"At first it was only curiosity," Masaya said. "Listening to Kana, I noticed too many similarities between the two cases, so I went to take a look. Then I saw the scarf tied to Shirakawa Akira's bedpost, the same method as in Fumino's case. That made me wonder whether the purpose had been the same both times. We'd been asking ourselves why the killer had gone to the trouble of carrying Fumino up to the upper bunk. Once I measured the bunks, it made sense. From below, hanging a body that way would be hard. From above, it would be easy. That's when I understood why the killer had done it."

"And how did you know it was Rin?"

"Because only one alibi had a crack in it. Fujiwara Rui is introverted. He never even told his best friend that he liked Fujiwara Fumino. A person like that would never talk openly about being rejected. Also, when Fumino lost her temper with him that day, Rin did know about it. But when we first met, he went out of his way to emphasize that he hadn't been there to see it. One lie too many. And the strongest inspiration came on the day we watched the game. Remember the two girls fighting? How did Rin deal with the one who was cursing the worst? He covered her mouth with both hands. That one motion let me reconstruct the murders."

"So a method that looked flawless was really full of cracks."

"There is no flawless method. If a crime has been committed, it leaves a trail."

Aya nodded, then asked, "And Fujiwara Rui? He won't end up..."

Masaya laughed. "Don't go imagining disasters. Rui is introverted, but he isn't extreme. The biggest difference between him and Kanzaki Rin is that Rui can see when other people are good to him, remember it, and return it when he can. He has a way of working through things. Everyone does it differently. Some explode. Some talk to friends. Rui walks around campus alone until his thoughts settle. Each blow in his life matures him a little."

Still, Aya looked unhappy.

Masaya said, "You hired a lawyer for Kanzaki Rin, didn't you? Since you've already done what you can, don't keep torturing yourself over what you can't."

"I just can't accept his reason," Aya said. "I still can't believe someone so good could do something like that."

Masaya kept his eyes on the road. "If he did it, then the seeds were already inside him. He had an extreme split in him. Bright and open outside, dark and sealed off inside. Years of repression and no healthy way to let anything out. That was always going to erupt."

Aya was quiet, then asked, "Then why would his father treat his own son like that? Even now Rin refuses to see him."

Masaya said, "His father is just an uneducated rough man. Quick-tempered. Loud. Fond of cursing. Rin remembered only that. He forgot who rode him through winter wind to school when he was little, who carried him to the hospital when he was sick, who earned the money his mother tucked into his pocket. If he had remembered those things, then at twenty he might have understood that his father was only a man who did not know how to show love."

Aya looked at him deeply.

"No one's growth is smooth," Masaya said. "Everyone has troubles. Some large, some small. How large they become depends on the heart. If a person thinks only of himself and sees only his own pain, that pain swells until it fills his whole world. And then he can no longer see anybody else."

Aya lowered her head. Masaya glanced at her once, pulled the car over, killed the engine, and turned toward her.

"Don't be sad. What's happened has happened. Sadness won't undo it. What matters is taking the lesson and facing what comes next, not standing on the road behind us and crying."

"Who said I was crying?" Aya snapped, already much more herself.

Masaya smiled. "I didn't say you were. Don't be so sensitive."

Then he added, "Since we're talking about you, let me ask something. You've been attached to our group for a while now. Have you gotten anything out of it?"

"Of course I have. A lot."

"And what are your plans?"

"Plans?"

"Yes. Don't glare at me. I'm not throwing you out."

Aya thought for a moment and said, "I've already decided to stay in Binhai for a while. My book still isn't finished, and you aren't getting rid of me that easily. But even if you hadn't said anything, I was planning to bother you all a little less. I've gathered almost enough material. The main thing now is the writing."

Masaya said, "I told you, I'm not trying to throw you out. You've already bought an apartment practically on top of my head. You look like you're planning to stay. What would be the point of trying?"

"So you do find me annoying?"

Masaya considered that. "If you weren't annoying me, you'd be off annoying somebody else. Buddha said, if not I, then who will descend into hell? So I'll sacrifice myself, reluctantly, for the public good."

Aya snorted. "Then I'll keep imposing."

The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds and then burst out laughing together. Outside the car, golden sunlight filled the whole world, and the spring wind blew warm.